Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
