She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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