Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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