I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Randomize
