Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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