Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
