How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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