I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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