i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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