4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
