Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize