Having a random hookup so left but love u
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize