..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Panties = found
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
