This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
