he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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