i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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