I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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