i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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