Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
