His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
