So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
