He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
