I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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