My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
