I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The power of my boobs compel you
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
