I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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