Sry I called you an 8
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
