Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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