dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
