Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
found the other keg... it's in the tree
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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