After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
last night I used snow as a chaser
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
