No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
