Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
