i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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