I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
