I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
