I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize