you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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