She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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