it wasn't lemon gatorade
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize