but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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