well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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