I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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