You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
