the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
