Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
