How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
