I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
