fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
