When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
