I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
