the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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