I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
