I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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