I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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