Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Randomize
