I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
