I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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