So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
