if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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