I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
