no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
