apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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