I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
