i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We had sex on a dog bed..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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