3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
