wanna go halves on a baby?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i out mim tonsoeep
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
